Ghosts
In the Wizarding world a witch or wizard, upon dying, may choose to leave an imprint of themselves on earth. These imprints are the pearly white apparitions that we call ghosts. If you had asked Cassandra Avery what she thought of ghosts two years ago, she would have told you that she harbored a disapproval of those who chose to stay behind instead of facing death head on. She respected those that inhabited Hogwarts of course, since they were the extent of her experience with the spectral world, but deep down a part of her had always thought they were cowards. However, time has a pesky habit of changing one’s perspectives on things and the loss of a loved one tended to put a dent on one’s principles about death and the afterlife.
It had been a month since the Prewett twins died in battle, a month since Cassie lost one of the most important people in her life, a month since all her thoughts and feelings about ghosts were altered forever.
“Cassie!” came an impatient voice, snapping her out of her reverie.
“I’m sorry, were you saying something Sally?” she asked looking up at her blonde co-worker. The woman’s dark eyes clouded over in concern and she laid a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder.
“Cassie, darling, how many hours have you put in this week?” she asked, before adding. “And please don’t lie, I’m a superior.”
A sigh made its way out of the younger girl’s throat as she pushed her long dark hair out of her eyes. “A hundred hours.”
Sally tutted in disapproval. “And how long have you been doing this?”
“Three weeks.” Cassie answered dully. Sally shook her head in exasperation.
“Cassie, I admire your dedication; truly I do. No one else has your talent and work ethic but seriously, you need to take it easy. You’re of no use to any of us in the same bed as one of the patients. Three hundred hours a month is a bit too much.”
“I’m fine, Sally.” She protested. “Really.”
“No, you’re not.” Sally said firmly. “You haven’t been fine in quite a while, to be honest. You’re going to finish your shift in an hour and take the weekend and all of Monday off. You are not to set foot in this building for work purposes, do you hear?”
Cassie opened her mouth to protest but the determined gleam in the older woman’s eyes told her it would be easier to just give in. And the look was so similar to the one Gideon used to give her that all desire to protest had been ruined. Sally bid her a good day and walked off to attend to a patient, leaving Cassie alone in the cafeteria trying her hardest not to cry into a cup of cold coffee.
OoO
When she graduated from Hogwarts, Cassie had traveled to London and with Gideon’s help, bought the large flat next to theirs. Her brother, who had visited her everyday for three months after she had first bought it, had told her that it was a perpetual waste of money since she was hardly ever in the flat at all and instead spent most of her free time in the flat next door with the Prewetts.
But things were different now that they were dead, and as much as she wanted to abandon reason and hold onto a blind irrational hope that they would come back, she knew it wasn’t going to happen.
She finished her shift and apparated back to her flat with a pop. Her mind felt extraordinarily numb as the metallic tinkling of the keys in her key ring signaled the opening of the door. It was one of the larger flats, with exquisite furnishings; the best money could buy. She felt as she always did when she came home however; like she could barely recognize the place, let alone call it home. Maybe it was because the furniture made it look so much like the manor in the dim light of the evenings, maybe it was because her heart was still in the one next door, she didn’t quite know for sure.
She flicked on the lights and closed the door. “Ripper?” she called, walking into her room and taking off her uniform. “I’m home, boy.” The large wolfhound walked into the room five minutes later carrying something in its mouth as it bounded onto her bed.
“Hungry?” she asked, nuzzling the dog’s neck before noticing the piece of cloth in its mouth. “Ripper, have you been going through my laundry again? Honestly, you know better than that!”
Sighing wearily, she picked up the slobbery piece of clothing and cast a cleaning charm on it. She loved the dog to bits but when he got the unnecessary kick to ramble through her dirty clothes, he was more than a bit of a handful. It was a shirt this time, an old one which was far too big to ever fit her. Her heart gave a lurch as she realized who it belonged to.
“Gideon…” she whispered. The shirt was his. He had lent it to her the day after she moved in. Her clothes and furniture had been delayed and she had needed something to wear and somehow, she had never gotten around to giving it back. Beside her, Ripper whimpered, disturbing her thoughts and alerting her to the fact that she was fisting the shirt as if her life depended on it.
“I miss him, boy.” She whispered, setting the shirt aside and burying her face in Ripper’s dark fur. “I miss him so much it hurts.” Ripper licked her face reassuringly before taking the shirt between his teeth again and running out of the room.
“Ripper?” she stood up and frowned in confusion. “Ripper, where are you going?” The dog walked over to the door and dropped the shirt on the floor, barking for her to follow. Thoroughly confused, she picked the shirt from the floor as the dog barked joyfully and pushed her towards the door.
“I’m going insane.” She muttered to herself once she had gotten away from her obviously equally crazed canine and out into the hallway. “Ripper and I are both losing it.”
She looked bemusedly at the shirt in her hands and the empty hallway and took a deep breath. “Might as well put you back.”
When the twins had died, she had convinced Molly to let her keep their flat. It was her way of keeping them alive, keeping a reminder of their presence there. She fished in her pockets for the key and unlocked the door. The place still smelled faintly of baking cookies, and she had to take a moment to hold back her tears as a barrage of happy memories invaded her mind. The kitchen was as neat as ever, each item exactly where Fabian had left it. The dust was starting to settle on the countertop and she made a mental note to wipe the surfaces down before she left, Fabian hated it when his workplace got dirty.
Her feet took on a mind of their own and before she knew it she was back in Gideon’s room. The poster of the Chudley Cannons stuck to the door waved merrily at her, one of the beaters blowing her a friendly kiss. Her hand paused in midair, inches above the doorknob.
“I can do this.” She whispered to herself. “I can do this.”
Her heart felt like it was breaking a hundred times over as she opened the door and walked in. The intoxicating smell of Gideon’s cologne hit her nose and she felt her knees go weak as she grabbed hold of the bed to keep her from falling. Whatever resolve she might have had to refrain from crying was now shot to hell as the tears welled up in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.
He was her best friend. They were a team; partners in crime. He was as much a part of her as she was of him and now he was gone. Everywhere she turned a memory jumped out at her. He had kissed her in that doorway and embraced her in that corner. He had come out of that bathroom in only a towel and dripped on that rug and they had fallen asleep together on the bed, looking at the stars on his ceiling. She held the shirt to her face and cried, no longer able to hold it in, or even slightly inclined to do so.
“I’m the most selfish person on the face of the planet.” She told the room, after having a good cry. “You and Fabian were fiery spirits; two of the bravest men I’ll ever meet. Heroes. That was why you joined the Order right? To fight for the innocent; protect them from Voldemort and his filthy crew. I worried all the time you know, it’s perfectly normal. Who knows what could happen out there? And y-you were always a bit reckless, which made me so thankful I became a healer. I should feel silly for doing this, talking to an empty room and everything, but I can’t take it anymore. I-it’s hard not having you here. I’ve no one to talk to, for one thing. And no one can keep up with my sarcasm like you can. I hope you know that I’ve always been behind you a hundred percent. Y-you’ve always had my full support. I know I’ve always been a bit hard on you when you get injured but I appreciate what you do. You’ve saved a lot of people; good people who deserve to live long lives.” She felt her throat tighten as she continued. “I just—that night when you and Fabian left to—to go on that mission, sometimes I just wonder if you would have stayed if I had asked you to.”
“You know I wouldn’t.” a familiar voice answered from nowhere. Completely caught by surprise, Cassie gasped and jerked off the bed nearly falling over herself in the process.
“Who’s there?” she snarled, raising her wand. “Who are you and how did you get in here?”
“Cassie.” The voice was dangerously close to her ear. She whipped around and reached forward to grab a part of the intruder but her fist closed on nothing but cold, freezing air. She felt the color drain from her face as she took a step back.
“No.” she heard herself mutter. “No way. No way.”
A head materialized in front of her, pearly white and grinning sheepishly, followed by the tall muscular frame she could recognize anywhere.
“Buggeration.” Was all she could muster to say as she fell backwards and landed on her rear.
“And there’s that word again.” The apparition countered, true to form. “Honestly Cassie, I can’t believe you’re still using that word, and get up will you? I’d help you up, like the gallant gentleman I am, but I’m not exactly corporeal at the moment.”
Cassie got up from the floor slowly, a look of pure shock and disbelief on her face.
“You’re not going to faint, are you darling?” Gideon, no not Gideon, not really, asked. “Because I can’t carry you to the couch and perform first aid.”
She shook her head, and sat back down on the bed. “Wh-why are you here?” she asked shakily. “How long have you been here? Bugger that, how are you here?”
“There’s that innate curiosity, I know and love.” He said, smiling. “I missed that, although I must say you’re a bit out of touch. Usually you ask questions because you don’t know the answer, and I think it’s rather obvious how I’m here.”
“Why are you here?” she whispered, her thoughts were running a mile a minute. She watched him, wide eyed, not knowing if she should be horrified or elated at the return of her best friend. When she woke up that morning, she had been fully prepared to work from dawn till dusk and try to keep her mind off of Gideon and moping and now she was in his flat at the urging of her dog and he was there.
He was there, and he was a ghost.
In her opinion, it was a wonder she hadn’t fainted yet.
“Unfinished business.” He replied, after a pregnant pause.
“What unfinished business?” she asked softly, frowning in confusion. “What didn’t you get a chance to do?”
“Oh, a lot.” He answered lightly. “But don’t worry yourself about that. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there; for now, I just want to spend a little time here,” He looked her in the eye, an inscrutable expression on his face. “With you.”
He was the only man who could make her heart flutter like this, even from beyond the grave. If it were at all possible, she would have kicked him.
OoO
Hours later, Cassandra was back in her flat holding a cup of tea and staring at Gideon’s ghostly profile. He was sitting in the lumpy armchair he had always loved, the firelight visible through his torso. It gave her heart a dull sort of ache to see him like this, leading half an existence.
“You don’t deserve this.” She whispered before taking a swig of her tea and making Gideon look up from staring at the fire.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Cassie amended shaking her head. “What’s your unfinished business?”
“I can’t tell you that, Cass.” He said apologetically. “I’m sorry.”
“Why not?” she demanded, frowning at him. He opened his mouth to speak but a crash from the kitchen interrupted the makings of an argument. “Ripper.” She muttered wearily as she stood up.
He watched her walk out the door gloomily. “Because you’re my unfinished business Cassie.”
OoO
Being a ghost was quite the conundrum, as Gideon Prewett was only too quick to find. He could pass through objects, turn invisible and play tricks to freak people out but he couldn’t feel a thing. He could no longer feel the cold October wind, or the heat of the fire, the warmth of her presence…it was a cruel reminder of his current state. He was dead, and that was all there was to it.
He sat on Cassie’s couch, two days after she had found him, watching her get ready for bed. He knew her routine by heart now, although he’d never tell her that, being a ghost had its perks. She sat down next to him, carrying a blanket, which he eyed curiously.
“Is that for me?” he asked finally, feeling like he’d been stabbed. She averted her gaze and wrapped her arms around herself, instantly making him feel even worse.
“Yeah.” She answered in a whisper. “I’m sorry, it was thoughtless of me.”
“No.” he assured her. “It’s the thought that counts right? Don’t worry about it Cassie.”
“You can get mad if you want.” She said shaking her head. “I was being stupid.”
“Hey,” he cut in, frowning. “You weren’t being stupid, alright? I’m glad you appreciate my presence enough to get me a blanket.”
A long silence stretched out between them as they both just sat there, looking into the depths of the fire. He wanted to reach out and touch her, take her into his arms and tell her all the things he had never gotten to say, but he couldn’t. Not when his every touch would make her feel like she’d been doused in ice.
“Gid?” she said so softly it was almost a whisper.
“Yeah, Cass?”
“I-If I had asked you to stay, that night, w-would you have done as I asked?” her eyes looked at him with a sadness he had never seen there before.
“Like I said, you know I wouldn’t have,” He answered after a short pause. He saw her nod, a bitter smile on her face. “But I wanted to.”
She looked up so fast, he thought she might have gotten whiplash. “Y-you mean that?”
“I do.” He said sincerely. “You have no idea what I would give to just stay home and be with you.”
“But?” her shirt was loose and a side of it was falling off her shoulder. He wished his hand was still solid, so he could touch that shoulder; feel its warmth.
“But I have—had a job to do. I had to make the sacrifice.” He watched her turn away, her gaze shifting from him to the flickering fire, staring helplessly at it. He wished he could do something to make her feel better.
“Sacrifice.” She whispered, more to herself than him. “Seems that’s all people ever do these days is sacrifice. Was the sacrifice worth it?”
Cassie stood up and left the room without a backward glance, and Gideon was left to stare after her wondering the same thing.
OoO
It was Saturday, two weeks after Cassie had first found him in his new spectral state, and he was at home with Ripper waiting for the lady of the house to come home. Cassie had gone to work early that morning, so early in fact that it was ungodly even to him; and he was a ghost. He knew that as part of the medical profession she was required to work for a designated amount of time. Interns were supposed to have seventy hour work-shifts, which was well within reason. Cassie was at St. Mungo’s practically round-the-clock, and he was concerned. He checked the clock for the tenth time that night to find that it was ten o’clock and she still wasn’t home.
“Cassie, where the fuck are you?” he muttered, pacing worriedly as Ripper the wolfhound stared curiously at him from the couch. “Don’t look at me like that, aren’t you worried?”
The door in the hallway creaked open and Cassie walked in, arms laden with grocery bags. “I’m home.” She called, walking into the kitchen and set the bags down on the table as Gideon drifted sullenly in.
“Took you long enough.” He muttered settling himself on one of the wooden stools across from her, watching as she put away her shopping.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, eyeing him coldly.
“You leave for work at god-knows-what time in the morning and you come back home at this hour?” his words come out harsher than he intends and he inwardly winces.
“What’s wrong with coming home at this hour?” she asked, a challenging glint coming into her eyes. She knew better than to start a fight with him but she was stressed and more than a little annoyed with him. “If I recall you came home much later, didn’t you?”
“I—that was work Cassie!” he protested.
“And so is this.” She retorted.
“Where were you?” he asked, his tone changing from hostile to relaxed in a matter of moments. She frowned at him and gestured to the shopping bags to indicate the obvious.
“Where were you?” he repeats. “I don’t believe it would take you this long to buy groceries, Cassie.”
Her mouth tightens into a line as she glares at him. “What’s your unfinished business?” she demands, and watches bitterly as he looks away in silence. “See? You won’t tell me what it is, so I have no reason to tell you where I was.”
Gideon opened his mouth to shout at her to stop being such an unreasonable brat but a knock on the door interrupted them. Throwing one last glare at Gideon, Cassie made her way to the door and wrenched it open.
“Cassandra,” greeted Alex Luther. “I, uh, you left your bracelet at our table and well, I thought I’d bring it back.”
“What is that creeper doing here?” Gideon muttered under his breath as Ripper sniffed the air and bared his teeth at the intruder.
“Oh, bugger thanks, Alex.” Cassie said, grinning gratefully at the boy and accepting the bracelet. “But, err—it seems my dog is having some hospitality issues so, I’ll just get back to you, shall I?”
“Yeah, yeah sure.” The boy said, kissing Cassie goodbye on the cheek and walking off.
“You were with him?” Gideon demanded, once Cassie had closed the door. Cassie walked past him and back into the kitchen throwing up her arms in exasperation. “Cassie, no, come back here! You know I hate that guy! He’s a fucking creeper, why the hell were you with him?”
“No,” Cassie stated, shaking her head vehemently. “No, I don’t know you think he’s creepy and I don’t know why I was with him. Maybe because being with him made me forget about you for a while and Merlin knows I need that right now, Gid. I need some time to forget about you and the war and the fact that every move I make is being monitored and any second I could end up dead.”
“Get up.” He commanded stonily. Cassie looked up at him, her blue eyes filled with tears and her eyebrows knitted together in a frown of confusion. “Get up, Cassie.” He repeated. he followed him mutely as he led the way to the flat next door and indicated for her to open the door.
He didn’t want to do this, not yet. He knew the moment he showed her, his time would be up. He’d never get to see her again, and that thought made him feel sick with fear. He wasn’t afraid of Death or what lay beyond it, he was afraid that going on would mean losing her.
“Open the oven and twirl your wand three times counterclockwise.” He instructed, keeping his face blank. She pulled out the chocolate mousse he had spent hours perfecting and put it on the table, an expression of confusion on her face. “Grab a fork and eat up.”
“What?”
“Just eat up, Cassie.” He told her, trying hard not to let ghostly tears run down his cheeks as watched her. “I made that myself.”
“How?” she choked, looking at him incredulously.
“I put a preservation charm on it, you dork.” He told her, laughing softly.
“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t realize that.”
“Take a piece out of the middle,” he told her keeping a smile on his face and feeling like he was dying for the second time around with every word he uttered. “But before you take a bite let me just say that I’m sorry I ever did anything to hurt you. I’m sorry that you’re so sick of me that you have to go out with strangers just so you don’t have to think of how I’m in your life, I’m sorry I—“
“Shut up.” She interrupted angrily. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
There were tears coming from her eyes again as she looked at him. “Do you have to be an idiot even from beyond the grave? Gideon, I’m not sick of you. I could never be sick of you. When you died, I spent most of my time wishing you would come back but never, never, did I imagine that it would actually happen. I never though you’d actually come back as ghost.” She stood up and walked over to him, raising a hand to his cheek. “This is why. You are one of the bravest, most wonderful men I have ever known and you don’t deserve this. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that I got to see you again, talk to you, and feel your presence even after you’re gone but if it’s at the expense of you living half an existence then it’s not worth it.”
“I can’t feel your hand there, Cassie.” He whispered miserably, closing his eyes. “I can see it, I know it’s there but I can’t feel it.”
She stifles a sob desperately as she strokes the cold air that is his cheek. “I know, Gid but just for a moment pretend that you can. Pretend that you can feel the warmth of my touch, the feel of my skin against yours.”
He tried to recall the memories, the sensations of all the good time he had shared with her but found that they could not amount to the real thing. “I-I can’t.”
“I know…”she whispered. “This is why you have to go. We have to resolve your unfinished business so you can move on.”
A silvery tear trails down his cheek as he looks at her, and nods. “Go back and finish your chocolate mousse.” He sees the questioning look on her face. “Just do it Cass, please.”
She nods and walks back to the table and takes a bit of the cake, to placate him. He can feel himself getting stretched, tall and thin on the inside but he takes a deep breath and soldiers on. “I made that cake the day Fabian and I were called out to our Death Mission; I spent hours trying to get it perfect because I knew it was your favorite. I even had Molly owl me cooking tips so I didn’t mess it up. I had it all planned out. You’d come home from work really tired and I’d invite you to the flat to have dinner, just the two of us. We’d have a two course meal and then I’d serve desert.” A wistful smile started playing at his lips. “I’d give you the special piece, the one in the middle, where I’d put a very special surprise, which you should be getting right about now.”
Cassie coughed and choked out a ring, right on cue. “See? I spent ages looking for that, and when I did I just sort of knew it was the one. I was going to ask you to marry me that night Cass. It was going to be the most wonderful night of my life, but then we got that call. We had a mission to go to, and the Prewetts do not abandon their duties. So I put the cake in the oven, hid it and preserved it so I could continue my plans for later but things went awry and here we are.”
“Wh-why didn’t you tell me in the first place?” she asked, sobbing. He smiled and shrugged.
“I wanted to stay here and spend more time with you.” He confessed, effectively breaking her heart two times over. He walked over to her and knelt down, his ghostly form glowing slightly in the lighting. “Cassandra Avery, I love you more than life itself, will you marry me?”
She looked from the beautiful, chocolate-stained silver band in her hand to the pale spirit of the man she loved kneeling on the floor and slipped the ring onto her finger.
“Yes,” she whispered, her heart shattering into a million pieces as he slowly disappeared like a wisp of smoke, a happy smile on his face.
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